my last entry as lu_nat_ic

Sun, 19 Mar 2006 07:27:49 GMT

with this last entry....goes a lot of drama, a lot a hate, a lot of dissapointment, and a lot of hope....that someday,this will all really be over.I know its long, but read it! just, read it.

As cliché as the next statement of this entry is going to be, it is true [with a minor adjustment]. Anyone who is worth your tears will NEVER [intentionally] make you cry. This applies to many things. Anyone who has the ability to make you feel so low, so unappreciated, so worthless or so angry will never use that ability against you. If/when they do, the only logical explanation for them to do so would be that they just aren’t the people you thought they were. True colors…right? People really have a way of disappointing you. [Can I get an Amen?] But, it’s expected. It’s true no one is perfect and we are ALL guilty of that. I mean, when I want revenge…I am guilty of intentionally making someone cry. But, when I seek revenge it is because I was wronged first. And I put my “tail in between my legs” for NO ONE.

HOWEVER, there’s a big difference between intentionally hurting someone and unintentionally hurting someone. The line is thick people. It’s not a fine line. When someone makes a conscious decision that will greatly hurt someone else’s feeling…that’s fucking intentional. When someone uses their ability to “grind your heart into hamburger meat”, that’s intentional. Therefore…kick their ass to the curb. The nearest, crappiest curb. Ok, I know what you are thinking. Here she goes again…or Damn,she is so harsh. But …..please…

Harsh? Not really, folks. If you have even an

ounce

of respect for YOURSELF, you won’t keep someone like that around you. You won’t settle. Don't let words fool you. Do you know why? Because one day it will hit you like a train going 80mph—what will, Natalie? REALITY! And hello, if it doesn’t, you are no better than the lies that cover your <\i>seemingly </i>pathetic existence. Think about it. [It’s common sense.]

Don’t hold on…because what is it you are holding onto? The past? The anger? The “pain”? The person you swore up and down you knew? Let me tell you, dears, it isn’t worth it. They AREN'T the good person you think is still inside of them.

Your own dignity, pride, and self-respect should be worth waaaaaaaaaay more than the time it takes to “heal" from a broken heart or a shattered friendship.

For every moment you waste [yes, waste] trying to pretend it never happened or that that person “deserves” a second chance….you lose the moment to move on. Eventually, you reach the point where you can’t move on…even when you KNOW you need to. All you know is life/existence with that person…whether they were a best friend or a boy/girlfriend. It applies to both.

But, don’t take my word for it. ‘Cuz as it will be, no one listens until it is too late. Or, people have to experience it themselves. So fine…But for those of us who have experienced this…we know what we are talking about. For anyone who has ever had their heartbroken, been betrayed by a lover and/or [best]friend, or trusted someone too much…tell me I am wrong. Go ahead, I dare you. Because if you do, you are either the person, in general, I am talking about or the person who doesn’t respect themselves enough to demand better. If you are the latter person, you should start believing these things about the other person [other person meaning the one who made you lose self-respect].

1. I won’t/don’t miss you
2. I don’t want you
and damn it
3. I sure as hell don’t NEED you.”

Ask someone who has been cheated on or betrayed…and I [fuckin’] guarantee you IF, AND ONLY IF, THEY LOVE THEMSELVES ENOUGHthey will know what I am talking about. It may take a little time or a good friend to help you realize it, but you will. You will realize that there will not/should not be a second chance [let alone a third or fourth]. Because sometimes there are no words or even actions to redeem a lying, cheating heart. I would rather regret not knowing whether someone can change than regret giving them the second chance to disappoint me. And lets face it, once a dog always a dog. Where’s the exception to that rule?? Don’t create one. Don’t make excuses for someone…. Instead, find someone who doesn’t need excuses… The good guy/friend exists [finally, a glimmer of hope]. Use your time to find that person instead of creating him/her.

I have enough “enemies”. They do the betraying and heartbreaking for me. Shit, we all do. And none of us need friends/lovers to do it also.

And because I know what I deserve….and because I know what I want…

lu_nat_ic

my last entry as lu_nat_ic

ounce

Your own dignity, pride, and self-respect should be worth waaaaaaaaaay more than the time it takes to “heal" from a broken heart or a shattered friendship.

I demand respect and fuck you if you don’t give it to me.